APPAMADA

A friend said that sometimes during his meditation, his psychological issues "come
up."  This morning during my
meditation I experienced that kind of
thing in more ways than one.  


First, I have gotten run-down lately and then have had trouble with my allergies and

sinuses. 
Some frustration by this situation seems normal and natural;
however,
this morning I felt enraged.  The
rage felt like a very old part
of me, maybe going back to childhood, that had
gotten triggered.


Second, I exchanged emails with my brother yesterday to make arrangements for visiting

him in July.  This morning I was
concerned that I might have pestered him
with too many questions too far in
advance.  However, at a feeling
level,
I suddenly felt open and vulnerable toward him, willing and able to look
at
things from his point of view in a compassionate way and discuss the situation
if necessary, but without feeling guilty or defensive.


When these kinds of parts -- or even Self -- come up during meditation, is

it best to turn toward them at the time and explore them, or is it better to
set them aside, continue meditating, and then come back to them later? 


 


 


 





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I'm no teacher, but here's my personal take. I think the key is to be completely aware of "what is" at the present moment. Try not to judge it, or change it. I would not go so far as "to explore it" as that seems to imply active thought around what is arising. Just be aware and watch it.
My experience is that these episodes are excellent teachings of transiency as they tend to fade away rather quickly.
Todd, thanks for both the suggestion and the reassurance about transiency. The anger poisoned my marriage; if it can finally fade after all these years, that would be wonderful.

Hello John,

I am also familiar with what you are sharing. Sometimes i just ask the parts who show up, with firmness and love to have a sit next to me and meditate with me, that i will listen to them later. Sometimes if a part seems to have urgent needs,  i ask them if they need to be listened to soon. Maybe this helps?

Thank you so much, Denise, for reviving this discussion that I began back in 2010.  I'm in a fluid situation now where it will be especially helpful to be in touch with my parts in a mindful way.  Your comment suggests a way of managing my interactions with my parts that sounds like it could be helpful.  Thanks for sharing.  

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Appamada is not just the occasional mindful thought or attentive state of mind, it’s actually a commitment to being attentive. It’s more than just a meditative state of mind, it’s more than just being mindful. It has to do with that primary ethical or moral orientation we have in life, with which we bring into being whatever activity we’re engaged in. Whether in formal meditation, in our interactions with other people, in our social concerns, or in our political choices, it’s the energetic cherishing of what we regard as good.

—Stephen Batchelor

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